1: Sybella Ilene loses a contact while driving!
can imagine what a dangerous situation this was! If it wasn't
for me, she may have been pulled over on the side of the road
searching for that thing for hours! Luckily, my x-ray vision
allowed me to see through the driver's seat and locate the necessary
seeing device. After I gave her the number of my LASIK Earth
partner in town, she called him as soon as she got home and
got to throw those awful contacts away!
2: Alec Pearce passes up going swimming with friends because
of his contacts.
was surprised to see me pop up in his house while he was busy
cursing his poor vision and feeling left out. I told him he
could do a ton of things, including swimming as much as he liked,
if he went to visit one of my Earth partners for LASIK eye surgery. He was so thrilled
to learn that he could even afford LASIK eye surgery with financing. Only
two days after having LASIK eye surgery, he was enjoying the pool, worry-free!
3: Aileen Heartly is late for work again because she couldn't see
her alarm clock.
Aileen was done explaining to her boss why she was late for the
third time this week, I visited Aileen in her office. She was surprised
to learn that my Earth partner near her has helped many people
in her community throw away their glasses and contacts for good.
So she took my advice and had LASIK eye surgery and was back to work the
very next day - on time, I might add. And ever since the procedure,
Aileen's been on her boss's good side!
4: Pete Rodger coughs up another $200 bucks to replace the pair
of glasses he lost!
caught Pete practically weeping while balancing his check book.
When he found out that LASIK eye surgery would cost him far less than a
lifetime supply of glasses and contacts, He jumped at the chance
to have LASIK. So, he financed the procedure, and last time
I saw him, he was laughing all the way to the bank!
5: Muriel Charlene has perfectly straight vision.
Ms. Charlene just couldn’t be satisfied with her vision! As a known perfectionist in her office, she couldn’t help but seek out the best vision possible. I made her search easier by directing her to one of my earth partner’s LASIK eye surgery website. Her office mates haven’t heard a complaint since!
6: Nelson Winston anguished in either glasses or contacts.
He had made the big switch from his thick, nerdy glasses to much less obstructive contacts with seeming ease. Sure enough, a few weeks with contacts led to extreme irritation. Going back to the oversized specs seemed to be the only way to ease the pain, until I had one of my Earth partners give him the LASIK procedure. Now he can experience 20/20 vision in comfort.
7: Percy Wilson needs more time!
Percy had proven to be perfectly comfortable in contacts, but as a very respectable attorney, he was always very tight for time. His eyes were sensitive to the month-long lenses, so his only option was to spend time every morning and evening fussing with his eyes. I introduced him to LASIK, and now he has perfect vision as well as some extra time for his daily routines.
8: Whitney JoEllen wants to be taken more seriously.
Whitney was tired of being embarrassed by her friends every time she’d try to read a distant road sign or blackboard, and misinterpret the words into something silly. “Turn left – 40 Miles” became “Twin lord – Lo Mein” and “Trotsky’s expedition” became “Turkey’s emission”… needless to say, her awakening to the world of LASIK arrived just in time. Her friends will never think of her as a bumbling quack again!
9: Abe Kenton's media-obsessed lifestyle takes its toll.
As part of a generation raised on radio, TV, internet, and the wide world of video games, Abe had spent many years in front of screens before it finally caught up with him. His vision had become so bad that he could no longer see the old Star Trek movies clearly. He told me to live long and prosper, after restoring years of damage to his eyesight almost instantly by introducing him to LASIK!
10: Lise Latoya ’s doggone wily critter!
I saved another as I helped Lise Latoya, whose dog had a hankering for her eyewear! It was her third pair down the tubes when I put an end to her expenses, and possibly saved a canine-human relationship. I am proud to say that Lise and her pooch will be able to see their cake and eat it too… or at least, Lise can!
11: Isa Doreen can swing again!
A regular at local night scenes, Isa was enjoying a screamin’ disco (as I heard some humans refer to it) when a hard shimmy shook her glasses right off into a sea of writhing people. The poor girl had thought her social life to be over, until I came to the scene and taught her all about LASIK, and directed her to one of my Earth partners. She was back to the beat in no time!
12: Norton Kelsey can’t see the event of a lifetime.
His favorite band was giving their last concert, and he had front row tickets… but he wouldn’t be able to see them! I quickly directed him to one of my Earth partners, and his vision was better than perfect in no time! I heard the concert was phenomenal.
13: Grandpa Neal could no longer focus on his reading.
I found a devoted son worried about his grandfather’s vision. The grandfather was in a nursing home and enjoyed reading novels from his youth and letters from his children and grandchildren in his spare time, but old age had caught up with his eyes as well. I told the son all about a new vision correciton procedure to treat presbyopia, and the grateful boy in turn took the grandfather to one of my Earth partners and got his vision – and his hobby – back to perfect vision.
Day 14: Vance Justice was tired of losing his glasses.
It was a Catch 22: he couldn’t find his glasses without his glasses, but he seemed stuck for the eyewear because his eyes weren’t tolerant of contact lenses. I gave him the answer when I introduced him to LASIK. The procedure was easy and painless, and he doesn’t have to ever look for his own eyeballs.
Day 15: Cornelia Maurine : No Viva Las Vegas?
Miss Maurine ’s life of intrigue was nearly cut short when her glasses were lost. She had been living a vibrant life full of gambling in that famous city, and lady luck almost ran out when she couldn’t see the poker cards in front of her face! Luckily, I knew of an Earth partner near by who helped me get her back in full swing. Now that bright light city’s back to setting her soul on fire, as this strange humanoid called Elvis would say.
Day 16: No more Funnies for Astor Clarence
It was Astor ’s favorite thing to do every Sunday: find the comics in the paper and read them aloud to his dog. One morning he pulled them out and noticed they were much blurrier than usual… he came to me, and I pointed him in the direction of a local earth partner for LASIK surgery. He doesn’t have any problems with his funnies anymore!
Day 17: Lauraine Omega ’s Near Collision
Ms. Omega had been a bus driver for as long as she could remember – which is, coincidentally, how long she had been a contact wearer as well. Her contacts had always given her problems, but she’d hit the last straw when she almost ran into a little Volkswagen when her contact shifted slightly to the left. I helped her find a local LASIK surgeon, and ever since she has been the most peaceful bus driver you could find.
Day 18: Bob Paulsin, Back and Better than Ever!
Bob had been a professional boxer for years, and only very slightly far-sighted. However, once I told him how much LASIK surgery could improve his fighting, he was more than happy to give it a try. He is now the best boxer in his area, thanks to my Earth partner, LASIK surgery, and myself.
Day 19: Fletcher Mack: Sick of Squinting
Travis was just plain sick and tired of having to squint to see clearly, especially at night when the roads were dangerously blurry. For years he had put up with the squinting just so that he didn’t have to depend on glasses, but once I introduced him to LASIK he was excited to try out this new kind of freedom. He is now wide-eyed and seeing clear, thanks to LASIK surgery.
Day 20: Roderic Merton breaks another contact lens.
Roderic was having a hard time adjusting to his contact lenses, and couldn’t stop shaking and twitching his eyelids whenever he tried to put them in. This resulted in numerous pairs of broken contacts, and money wasted. I called my Earth partner to attention on the matter, and he got Roderic ’s eye problem fixed for life with one short, painless procedure – LASIK.
Day 21: Martha Unice ’s Red Eyes
Ms. Unice had at least one eye infection every week – it was very annoying to her neighbors, who constantly had to listen to her complaints. I got to the bottom of the matter, and discovered that it was her contact lenses that were causing the near constant eye infections. Martha ’s poor eyes just couldn’t take the stress from the lenses, and they were seldom as clean as they should be. One trip to my earth partner, a trusted LASIK surgeon, and she was cured! She has clear, beautiful blue eyes.
Day 22: Bobbie Riley and his stifled solo.
Bobbie was an important soprano in his school’s choir, with a huge upcoming event. His girlfriend was all excited to go, but Bobbie felt nervous. He knew if he could just see her that his butterflies would calm down, but he was so nearsighted that it was impossible to see her, even in the front row. I found his dilemma very endearing, and so I helped him to discover LASIK through one of my earth partners. His girlfriend couldn’t have been more proud of his performance.
Day 23: The Adventures of Taniqua Sondra
Taniqua was off to embark on the greatest expedition of her life – in the hot Sahara. She knew her contacts couldn’t possibly stand up to the dry atmosphere, but didn’t want to fear losing her glasses in the sands, either. I solved her problem with LASIK surgery, with the help of a trusted earth partner.
Day 24: Jill Posy Can’t Read Her Novels!
Mrs. Posy had a habit of reading romance novels. One day, somewhere between the hero realizing he had been missing the heroine for all those years and the heroine’s tragic coma, Jill realized that the words were getting rather blurry. She didn’t want to miss out on anything, so I immediately sought the help of an earth partner who helped fix what turned out to be presbyopia with a very simple conductive Keratoplasty procedure.
Day 25: Carmen Jadyn Tired of Losing Lenses
It was a horrible uncertainty for our heroine to suddenly become blind in the middle of an important activity. Half the time the contact would simply shift place on her eye, and she’d be forced to fish around in her own optic orb for the lens. I felt it necessary to eliminate Miss Trylana’s problem by introducing her to one of my Earth Partners for LASIK surgery – she hardly needs to fear losing one of her own eyes, as the procedure allows for perfect vision without any form of eyewear.
Day 26: Zachery Temple Gives Blind Sermon
Zachery had thought himself completely prepared to give an exciting lecture at his local church one weekend, preparing himself with a plethora of interesting notes on his subject. Unfortunately, his glasses went missing again and he was unable to read his cards without embarrassing moments of silence and muttering. Determined to never face such a dilemma again, he asked me to set him up with an Earth Partner for LASIK surgery. His sermons are now a local hit!
Day 27: Janette Luana ’s Mother’s Day Treat
Being a single mother was hard enough, let alone being a severely visually impaired single mother. Janette could never find her glasses, and contacts proved too irritating for her eyes. Last mother’s day, her children contacted me in order to graciously present their mother with the option of LASIK surgery. Their mother jumped on the opportunity, and ever since has been able to happily nag her children about every little detail of the house.
Day 28: Alex Kian Gets Rid of His Contacts Blues Forever
Alex was a great jazz musician, but his contacts sometimes got irritating in the middle of a performance. This makes it difficult for the artist to concentrate appropriately. I found his dilemma and rushed him over to one of my trusted Earth Partners for LASIK surgery – now his eyes are comfortable and he has the beat back in his swing… or is it the swing back in his beat?
Day 29: Stacy Carson Peers at Peers
The girl was considered “eccentric” at best by her betters as her extreme near-sightedness caused her to squint unambiguously at whoever was talking to her. I helped aid her social dilemma and her vision all in one by pointing her out to my Earth Partner for LASIK surgery. I hear lately she’s been quite the conversationalist, and talks incessantly about her wonderful LASIK surgery…
Day 30: Horatio Hiroshi Swims Freely
Horatio had enjoyed the pool very much, but his poor vision didn’t allow him to see much underwater without his glasses. He tried contact lenses, but he couldn’t open his eyes underwater for fear the optic disks would float away. Once I introduced him to LASIK surgery, he was swimming in clear waters in days!
Day 31: Trenton Newt Indulges
I was actually approached by this strapping lad who was enterprising to improve his vision. I introduced him to one of my well-known Earth Partners and by the next morning he was reading his “Better Business” book clearer than ever.
Day 32: Tatiana M. Chantel Leans No More
Being a philanthropist (as well as a General Snoop), Tatiana was constantly concerning herself with the condition of her neighbor’s lifestyle. However, it was hard to really keep tabs on things when she could only barely make out her neighbor’s living room arrangement through two layers of window. She needed something more. I decided to help her in her quest to better her community by introducing her to my local Earth Partner, who supplied her with LASIK surgery and the ability to be certain of every detail of the precious human beings around her.